Melbourne

So Melbourne is 3 hours ahead of Perth so when we landed here it was after midnight and we were on Perth time still which had us at 9 pm which messes things up and honestly I failed to notice that when I was making all these bookings for flights . It would have been the smarter decision to leave Perth earlier and have another day to roam around Melbourne but regardless I’m sure Qantas would have messed that up somehow anyways .... I still think you suck Q-bag 🤨 we have the next day planned to go do a free walking tour as it’s always the best way to find things you want to do in these cities without forking out a bundle and being left disappointed . Kinda like flying Qantas hahaha ... ok enough of that , I know I’m not that funny . This walking tour was due to leave the meeting point at around 10 am and somehow mysteriously without setting an alarm we woke up on time and made the 30 minute trek to find the meeting point . I sweat my balls off though and my comfort level was not very high to be honest and I wanted to be the guy at the back of the tour as I’m sure I sweat through my shirt and didn’t want to be that fat guy ! You know the guy that you see walking down the street and you say to your friend look at that guy ? He’s a pool of sweat 😓 yeah I am soooo that guy . 

It was hot 🥵 and the only relief I was getting was when we stopped walking and stood in the shade to hear our tour guide talk to us and to be honest he was nowhere as entertaining as our guide in Sydney named Adrian . In fact I don’t even remember this millenials name and yes he related to millennials and the problem was there were any on this tour so his suggestions came up a bit flat as he suggested a few places where you can hear dj’s play loud music while trying to enjoy a drink 🥃 boy am I getting old or what ? I remember when I didn’t want to hear people talk while I got fucked up and now I don’t want to scream to enjoy a conversation over a nice stiff drink . Bah humbug lol 😝 one of our first stops was the prison where Ned Kelly was held and if you don’t know about him don’t be upset because neither did I until I was reminded of the movies made about him .... look him up and you might need a refresher like I did as it’s a pretty cool story . After that we started to hit the alley ways that are the backbone of this city . Tons of amazing street art litter these alleys and hidden little speak easy type bars and all sorts of interesting little shops . You could almost just do a tour of alleys here and skip the main streets . As I said this tour was not super exciting as the guide had a flat sense of humour and even dropped a J bomb during the tour which I’m sure nobody noticed and I’m sure there are other guides that do a better job but regardless it served its purpose and got us familiar with the city and gave us plenty of options as to what we would like to do . Melbourne as you all know doesn’t really have anything that pops and says come visit me ... think about it .... is there any sites you would go to Melbourne to see ? 

After the tour we hit up our hotel room which at this point we are realizing is on the wrong side of the city and we probably made a bad decision staying here as everything we want to do is about a 20-30 minute walk from here and we did look at hotels on the other side of the city . Can’t do anything about it now , let’s make the most of it ! We thought being near the train station would be a bonus but already this morning we’ve had to take a 20 minute walk for this tour and now we are back in the room showering off the morning sweat only to have to head out again for more punishing heat . Kathleen jumped in the pool at the hotel and I took a snooze ... upon awaking it was time to get ourselves a drink . 

We both like Gin so the original plan was to go to the Gin Palace but it was closed for some reason and we opted to go check out this place called Union Electric which was open based on google but when we arrived it was closed and yes it took over 20 minutes to walk there . Frustrated we decide to go check out one of the bars our tour guide suggested called Section 8 which is around the corner and it was rammed with kids listening to some DJ pumping tracks we could hear 3 blocks away and that as I said earlier isn’t exactly where we want to chill and drink a gin and tonic and seemed more like the kind of place I’d want to pop some molly or whatever the heck they call ecstasy these days . At that moment we decided to ignore any more suggestions from anyone under 30 years old hahaha ! I was in an ornery mood and I looked up another place called Pizza Pizza Pizza which is a pizza place with a cocktail bar in it and off we went . On route we came across this place called 1806 and it caught our eye with the cocaktail decor in the front window and we peeked in to see a barman dressed in white button up shirt and black pants with a velvet styled lounge area and only one table with a few suits enjoying their after work cocktail . The music was good and not too loud and the selection behind the bar was appealing so we grabbed a seat . Soon after we were the only patrons and began conversing with the barman who seemed to be a nice guy named Jack from Tasmania . He let us sample some gins and we eventually ordered some gin and tonics garnished to our liking and we talked about alcohol for about an hour or so and abandoned any idea of going anywhere else on this eve . 

We actually liked the service so much that we even tipped Jack on our overly priced drinks and if you didn’t know tipping  is not a thing on this continent which is awesome as the tipping bullshit in Canada is getting way out of hand ! Why should I give a pizza delivery guy 15% to drop a pizza at my house when we are paying delivery fee ? Fuck that shit ! Jack gave us a few good tips for where to get a pizza slice on our way back to the hotel and we were off to find a place called +39 Pizzeria ... seems like a good choice to somewhere that has my hockey number in it doesn’t it ? We hiked it over there to grab a pie before it closed and when we found out they didn’t sell slices we opted to grab a small pizza and eat it in the restaurant . Honestly the pizza was not that good and in my opinion was ok at best as it lacked sauce and toppings and for the price we paid you would expect more . Let’s just say it was not the best slice I’ve had on this trip and I’ve been to Domino’s . Nuff said ! 

Time for bed ... even though I snuck a nap in today my internal clock is going haywire from all this time zone skipping and tomorrow we have to be up at disgusting o’clock to get to our meeting point to go on our tour to the 12 Apostles and yes it’s a 20 minute walk and no this isn’t some religious freak show kinda tour . I will write about it later as I’m already a few days behind on my blogging . Smell ya later 🤪